he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
