What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
