I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize