My hand turned me down
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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