so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
