Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize