I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
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