i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Found the puke drawer
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
