He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
