You're earring is so big in my mouth
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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