You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
