You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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