wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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