doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Randomize
