Small penises have feelings too.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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