im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
