ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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