my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
