first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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