Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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