I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
