I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
