So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
