i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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