and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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