pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
