im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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