Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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