is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
