Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize