1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
