in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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