Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
