We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Randomize
