I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
