dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Boobs speak an international language.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
