do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
