wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
