you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
