Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
