Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Randomize
