I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
