Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
