I heard we made out
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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