I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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