You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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