I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
