So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
