i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
