Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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