I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
You smell like a Billy Joel song
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
