yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
