Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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