The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
