if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
