Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
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