He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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