Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
