You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
