please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
