so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
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