i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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